What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I haven't been this sober since birth.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
