I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
