my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
