im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize