Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
