So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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