Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
