Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
