I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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