you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
