Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
