Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
