i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
