don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
