At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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