...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
