I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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