Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
