YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
