If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think my moral compass just broke
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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