I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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