I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
