A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
