I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize