thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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