I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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