Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
