Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
