It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Randomize