the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
