How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
