i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I understand Curling. That high.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
