Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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