I love black thongs
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
