My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
