You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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