she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
