He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize