hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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