so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
