haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize