So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
