What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
we're so committed to being not committed
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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