what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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