im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
