I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
