she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize