I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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