im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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