I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
