WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
