You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
