Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
