dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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