He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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