and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
