And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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