Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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