Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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