me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize