he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
