you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
