I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
