Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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