I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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