I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
