It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
