I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
