It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I pour the whiskey from now on
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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