2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize