Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My cat gives me a boner
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
